by Faith Eckersall.

Most people wouldn’t think twice about going out for a cup of coffee by themselves. But some people, says Judi Runciman, of Wimborne Befriending Service, find even that simple act a hard thing to do.
“I asked one lady who wanted to use our service if she went out much and she said no, she felt she couldn’t even have a cup of coffee on her own, because she thought everyone would be looking at her,” says Judi.
“I thought that was really sad.”

On the other hand, it perfectly explains why people seek the help of Wimborne Befrienders which she co-ordinates, under the auspices of the Royal Voluntary Service.
The service covers the BH21 postcode and puts lonely people over the age of 50 in touch with people who can offer friendship and a natter, over a cup of tea or coffee, for around two hours a week.

“We’re not carers and we’re not cleaners either,” says Judi.
“We’re there to enjoy a cup of something and a chat, or maybe a trip to the shops together, or even for a walk and a coffee out.”
Befrienders sometimes play Scrabble or cards with the person they are visiting, do crosswords or watch favourite shows on the TV – anything which provides companionship and conversation.
On occasion, they accompany people to hospital appointments or to the dentist.
There is no pay but Judi likes to put on an afternoon tea and a lunch get-together for the befrienders twice a year.

Predominantly, the befrienders are women, she says. She interviews them about the expectations of the voluntary role and then tries to match them with a client – who is also interviewed so she can help find the best match.
Befrienders have to fill in a form as well as undergo a DBS check, which the RVS pays for. If all is well, they receive their badge and identity and she then arranges a meeting between the client and befriender.
“When I chat to the prospective client it takes about two hours and you usually hear their life story,” she says. Judi asks why they want help from the befriending service, and if there is anything they don’t want to talk about or be asked about.
These conversations have led her to form the view that loneliness is an increasing factor in some people’s lives. “I’m always amazed by how many seem to have no connection to their family, even if they have children,” she says.
She’s also surprised that for most clients, loneliness is a bigger worry than, say, the cost of living.
“Some feel unable to go out because of a trauma, which has left them feeling vulnerable. Others have perhaps lost a partner and miss the company of another person.”
She believes Covid has exacerbated this situation, with many social clubs and events being cancelled during the epidemic not starting up again afterwards.
“It’s left a gap in many people’s lives,” she explains.
She currently has 32 volunteers but always needs more, because not everyone who expresses an interest decides to commit to becoming a befriender. Currently there are four clients hoping to be matched with a new friend and new clients are referred all the time.
The value of such a relationship speaks for itself.
“I remember talking to one lady on the phone who sounded really down; she was talking about not feeling well and within about 15 minutes of chatting, her voice changed and she was laughing about things,” says Judi.
If you’d like to find out more, contact: 07717 748730 or direct message Judi on Facebook Messenger.